Are you paralyzed by your to-do list? Is your mind so overloaded with ideas and tasks that you’re having a hard time figuring out how or where and when to execute and prioritize them?
You are not alone.
My client, Ashley, a busy working mom, and self-admitted perfectionist, came to me feeling a general lack of “joie de vivre” in her life. She was unable to appreciate all of the amazing things she does accomplish each day and, instead, she was plagued with self-doubt and judgement about the long list of things she couldn’t get to.
In short, Ashley was paralyzed by her overwhelm. She was lost in the Bermuda Triangle of Prioritization, Perfectionism and Procrastination.
The following are the five steps Ashley and I employed to overcome her overwhelm to put her on the pathway to productivity and purpose. Click Here to learn more about Ashley’s results.
On top of all the mission critical things she was getting done every day, the things Ashley wasn’t getting to gave her a feeling of guilt and deep anxiety— the shirt she needed to return to the store, the insurance claim she needed to file, the sprinkler system she needed to restart for the summer… All super boring, unfulfilling tasks, to be sure, but ones that were causing Ashley serious mental clutter and contributing to her feeling of overall malaise in life. She had lost her sense of purpose— a clear view of the most important goals in her life, as well as the biggest pain points she needed to address to make her overall life happier and rediscover her sense of well-being. Once these were defined, we had a foundation for decision-making about what tasks and projects were truly important, what she could delegate, and what she could simply blow off— yes, some of those action items got wiped away!
During this session, it was unbelievably helpful to use a white board to get everything out of Ashley’s head and into one central place where we could see it in all of its glory. Not only did Ashley have the mundane stuff she needed to get done, but the process allowed her to tap into bigger, more fulfilling things she wanted to tackle that would give her a sense of purpose and help her achieve some of the life objectives that would ultimately bring her happiness. A visual representation brought clarity to the overwhelm that was plaguing Ashley’s psyche. (If you don’t have a whiteboard—you can order one very easily on Amazon, or just use a blank sheet of paper to get you going.).
Once Ashley had all of her ideas and tasks expunged from her brain and onto the White Board, she could categorize them under the bigger life goals they aligned with. (See #1 above.) This allowed Ashley to see the direct connections between her to-do list and her biggest goals. From here, Ashley was able to start to prioritize her ideas and tasks based on those that had the highest and best outcomes for achieving her goals and making her a happy human. And in the course of this, Ashley was able to realize some other, more important priorities that involved her own self-care that trumped the mundane things she was dreading.
Having a list of prioritized tasks is a great start, but without deadlines, they're just good intentions. That said, to tame the overwhelm, I insisted that Ashley give herself a lot of grace in checking all her boxes. Ashley set realistic deadlines for executing her list. After our initial White Board sesh, Ashley and I checked in every week, to see where she was, adjust deadlines as appropriate, and talk through things that were still stumping her. Ashley appreciated the accountability that the check-ins brought her and she was finding that, some weeks, she was accomplishing way more than she initially set out to. I was noticing her entire demeanor change. She was more confident, was holding her shoulders back and her head higher, and she reported feeling a much greater sense of well-being.
Lastly, the key to Ashley’s success was the time she deliberately set aside in her busy schedule to execute all the things she wanted to- large and small, boring and exciting. Ashley also figured out that she actually didn’t have to do all the the things on her list. She was able to delegate many of the items to her kids and her husband, freeing up her time to get the things she really loves and enjoys
This dedicated time on the calendar was a non-negotiable for Ashley, and she treated it with the same reverence and respect she would a work responsibility.
Through the whole process, Ashley figured out that overcoming her overwhelm was not about doing more. It was about doing more of what matters.
By identifying her biggest goals, whiteboarding her ideas, categorizing and prioritizing, setting deadlines and scheduling time for execution, Ashley slowly became a new woman.
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